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Pulverturm Gothic- und Wave-Messageboard
Beiträge im Thema:
13
Erster Beitrag:
vor 15 Jahren, 2 Monaten
Letzter Beitrag:
vor 15 Jahren, 2 Monaten
Beteiligte Autoren:
Dark-Sith, StonedBones, Ex-Anonymos

Kommt euch das bekannt vor ??

Startbeitrag von Dark-Sith am 02.10.2001 11:31


Auf dem Weg zur Arbeit springt einem Programmierer ein Frosch entgegen.
"Ich bin eine verzauberte Prinzessin, küss mich. "Der Frosch wird in die Jackentasche gesteckt.

In der Mittagspause quakt es wieder. "Bitte, bitte,
küss mich, ich bin eine verzauberte Prinzessin."
Keine Reaktion.
Als er abends in der Kneipe den Frosch vorführt, wird der Programmierer gefragt,
warum er den bettelnden Frosch nicht erhört?

Antwort: " Für eine Freundin habe ich keine Zeit, aber einen sprechenden Frosch finde ich cool..."

:D Na, könnte sich irgendeiner damit identifizieren? :D

Antworten:

Dark-Sith schrieb:
>
>
> Auf dem Weg zur Arbeit springt einem Programmierer ein Frosch
> entgegen.
> "Ich bin eine verzauberte Prinzessin, küss mich. "Der Frosch
> wird in die Jackentasche gesteckt.
>
> In der Mittagspause quakt es wieder. "Bitte, bitte,
> küss mich, ich bin eine verzauberte Prinzessin."
> Keine Reaktion.
> Als er abends in der Kneipe den Frosch vorführt, wird der
> Programmierer gefragt,
> warum er den bettelnden Frosch nicht erhört?
>
> Antwort: " Für eine Freundin habe ich keine Zeit, aber einen
> sprechenden Frosch finde ich cool..."
>
> :D Na, könnte sich irgendeiner damit identifizieren? :D

Kenn ich selbstverfreilich schon, aber ich kann mich definitiv nicht damit identifizieren... :D:D:D

Ich hab hier einen netten Text, ist zwar kein Witz aber trotzdem sehr amuesant :-)

Hinweis: eine PDP-10 ist ein inzwischen total veralteter Desktop-Rechner aus der glorreichen Zeit vor dem PC



A Story About `Magic'

Some years ago, I (GLS) was snooping around in the cabinets that housed the MIT AI Lab's PDP-10, and noticed a little switch glued to the frame of one cabinet. It was obviously a homebrew job, added by one of the lab's hardware hackers (no one knows who).

You don't touch an unknown switch on a computer without knowing what it does, because you might crash the computer. The switch was labeled in a most unhelpful way. It had two positions, and scrawled in pencil on the metal switch body were the words `magic' and `more magic'. The switch was in the `more magic' position.

I called another hacker over to look at it. He had never seen the switch before either. Closer examination revealed that the switch had only one wire running to it! The other end of the wire did disappear into the maze of wires inside the computer, but it's a basic fact of electricity that a switch can't do anything unless there are two wires connected to it. This switch had a wire connected on one side and no wire on its other side.

It was clear that this switch was someone's idea of a silly joke. Convinced by our reasoning that the switch was inoperative, we flipped it. The computer instantly crashed.

Imagine our utter astonishment. We wrote it off as coincidence, but nevertheless restored the switch to the `more magic' position before reviving the computer.

A year later, I told this story to yet another hacker, David Moon as I recall. He clearly doubted my sanity, or suspected me of a supernatural belief in the power of this switch, or perhaps thought I was fooling him with a bogus saga. To prove it to him, I showed him the very switch, still glued to the cabinet frame with only one wire connected to it, still in the `more magic' position. We scrutinized the switch and its lone connection, and found that the other end of the wire, though connected to the computer wiring, was connected to a ground pin. That clearly made the switch doubly useless: not only was it electrically nonoperative, but it was connected to a place that couldn't affect anything anyway. So we flipped the switch.

The computer promptly crashed.

This time we ran for Richard Greenblatt, a long-time MIT hacker, who was close at hand. He had never noticed the switch before, either. He inspected it, concluded it was useless, got some diagonal cutters and diked it out. We then revived the computer and it has run fine ever since.

We still don't know how the switch crashed the machine. There is a theory that some circuit near the ground pin was marginal, and flipping the switch changed the electrical capacitance enough to upset the circuit as millionth-of-a-second pulses went through it. But we'll never know for sure; all we can really say is that the switch was magic.

I still have that switch in my basement. Maybe I'm silly, but I usually keep it set on `more magic'.

1994: Another explanation of this story has since been offered. Note that the switch body was metal. Suppose that the non-connected side of the switch was connected to the switch body (usually the body is connected to a separate earth lug, but there are exceptions). The body is connected to the computer case, which is, presumably, grounded. Now the circuit ground within the machine isn't necessarily at the same potential as the case ground, so flipping the switch connected the circuit ground to the case ground, causing a voltage drop/jump which reset the machine. This was probably discovered by someone who found out the hard way that there was a potential difference between the two, and who then wired in the switch as a joke.

von StonedBones - am 02.10.2001 11:44

Re: It´s magic ! :-)

xx

von Dark-Sith - am 02.10.2001 12:05

Re: Diesen auch schon ??

Behauptung: Jedes Programm lässt sich um mindestens eine Anweisung kürzen.

Jedes Programm hat mindestens einen Fehler.
Durch Induktion können wir schliessen:
Jedes Programm ist reduzierbar auf eine Anweisung,
die nicht funktioniert...

von Dark-Sith - am 02.10.2001 12:12

Re: Diesen auch schon ??

Dark-Sith schrieb:
>
> Behauptung: Jedes Programm lässt sich um mindestens eine
> Anweisung kürzen.
>
> Jedes Programm hat mindestens einen Fehler.
> Durch Induktion können wir schliessen:
> Jedes Programm ist reduzierbar auf eine Anweisung,
> die nicht funktioniert...

Fast... nicht jedes Programm ist um eine Anweisung kuerzbar, aber um eine Zeile kuerzbar (es sei das Programm besteht nur aus einer Zeile).

Die Schlussfolgerung lautet damit, dass jedes Programm auf eine fehlerhafte Zeile reduzierbar ist...

Aber warst nah dran ;-) Nur weiter so :D

von StonedBones - am 02.10.2001 12:31

Re: Mohment !!!!

ACHTUNG!

Dies ist ein manueller e-Mail Virus.
Ich habe leider keine Ahnung und keine Zeit,
um einen echten zu programmieren.

Wählen Sie einfach die ersten 50 Adressen aus Ihrem
Adressbuch und senden Sie diesen Virus weiter.

Dann löschen Sie einige Dateien aus Ihrem Systemverzeichnis.
Falls heute Freitag der 13. ist, formatieren Sie bitte Ihre Festplatte.

Danke für Ihre Mitarbeit. VIP (Virus Im Programm)

:D Na, und jetzt ?? :D

von Dark-Sith - am 02.10.2001 12:38

Re: Diesen auch schon ??

Aber wo wir gerade bei logischen Schlussfolgerungen sind:

(ich glaube ich hab den schonmal gepostet, bin mir nicht sicher...)

"Noone will ever need more than 640kB RAM" (Bill Gates, 1981)
"Windows 95 needs at least 8MB RAM" (Bill Gates, 1996)
"Noone will ever need Windows 95 !" (logical conclusion)

von StonedBones - am 02.10.2001 12:50

Re: Diesen auch schon ??

StonedBones schrieb:
>
> Aber wo wir gerade bei logischen Schlussfolgerungen sind:
>
> (ich glaube ich hab den schonmal gepostet, bin mir nicht
> sicher...)
>
> "Noone will ever need more than 640kB RAM" (Bill Gates, 1981)
> "Windows 95 needs at least 8MB RAM" (Bill Gates, 1996)
> "Noone will ever need Windows 95 !" (logical conclusion)


häääähhh ??? Und wer ist nun dieseR "Noone" der/die kein Win95 braucht ???

von Ex-Anonymos - am 02.10.2001 12:57

The DOSFish

Bildung:



The DOSFish

Gigglebytes (C) 1993 Lincoln Spector. All rights reserved. Originally published in Southern California Computer Currents, July 12 - August 15, 1993.

Long ago, in the days when all disks flopped in the breeze and the writing of words was on a star, the Blue Giant dug for the people the Pea Sea. But he needed a creature who could sail the waters, and would need for support but few rams.

So the Gateskeeper, who was said to be both micro and soft, fashioned a Dosfish, who was small and spry, and could swim the narrow sixteen-bit channel. But the Dosfish was not bright, and could be taught but few tricks. His alphabet had no A's, B's, or Q's, but a mere 640 K's, and the size of his file cabinet was limited by his own fat.

At first the people loved the Dosfish, for he was the only one who could swim the Pea Sea. But the people soon grew tired of commanding his line, and complained that he could neither be dragged or dropped. "Forsooth," they cried, "the Dosfish can do only one job at a time, and of names he knows only eight and three." And many of them left the Pea Sea for good, and went off in search of the Magic Apple.

Although many went, far more stayed, because admittance to the Pea Sea was cheap. So the Gateskeeper studied the Magic Apple, and rested awile in the Parc of the Xer Ox. And he made a Window that could ride on the Dosfish, and do its thinking for it. But the Window was slow, and it would break when the Dosfish got confused. So most people contented themselves with the Dosfish.

Now it came to pass that the Blue Giant came upon the Gateskeeper, and spoke thus: "Come, let us make of ourselves something greater than the Dosfish." The Blue Giant seemed like a humbug, so they called the new creature Oz II.

Now Oz II was smarter than the Dosfish, as most things are. It could drag and drop, and could keep files without becoming fat. But the people cared for it not. So the Blue Giant and the Gateskeeper promised another Oz II, to be called Oz II Too, that could swim fast in the new, 32-bit wide Pea Sea.

Then lo, a strange miracle occurred. Although the Window that rode on the Dosfish was slow, it was pretty, and the third window was the prettiest of all. And the people began to like the third window, and to use it. So the Gateskeeper turned to the Blue Giant and said "Fie on thee, for I need thee not. Keep thy Oz II Too, and I shall make of my Window an Entity that will not need the Dosfish, and will swim in the 32-bit Pea Sea."

Years passed, and the workshops of the Gateskeeper and the Blue Giant were many times overrun by insects. And the people went on using their Dosfish with a Window; even though the Dosfish would from time to time become confused and die, it could always be revived with three fingers. Then there came a day when the Blue Giant let forth his Oz II Too onto the world. The Oz II Too was indeed mighty, and awesome, and required a great ram, and the world was changed not a whit. For the people said "It is indeed great, but we see little application for it." And they were doubtful, because the Blue Giant had met with the Magic Apple, and together they were fashioning a Taligent, and the Taligent was made of objects, and was most pink.

Now the Gateskeeper had grown ambitious, and as he had been ambitious before he grew, he was now more ambitious still. So he protected his Window Entity with great security, and made its net work both in serving and with peers. And the Entity would swim, not in the Pea Sea, but also in the Oceans of Great Risk. "Yea," the Gateskeeper declared, "though my Entity will require a greater ram than Oz II Too, it will be more powerful than a world of Eunuchs.

And so the gateskeeper prepared to unleash his Entity to the world, in all but two cities. For he promised that a greater Window, a greater Entity, and even a greater Dosfish would appear one day in Chicago and Cairo, and it too would be built of objects.

Now the Eunuchs who lived in the Oceans of Great Risk, and who scorned the Pea Sea, began to look upon their world with fear. For the Pea Sea had grown and great ships were sailing in it, the Entity was about to invade their Ocenas, and it was rumored that files would be named in letters greater than eight. And the Eunuchs looked upon the Pea Sea, and many of them thought to immigrate.

Within the Oceans of Great Risk were many Sun Worshippers, and they had wanted to excel, and make their words perfect, and do their jobs as easy as one-two-three. And what's more, many of them no longer wanted to pay for the Risk. So the Sun Lord went to the Pea Sea, and got himself eighty-sixed.

And taking the next step was he of the NextStep, who had given up building his boxes of black. And he proclaimed loudly that he could help anyone make wondrous soft wares, then admitted meekly that only those who know him could use those wares, and he was made of objects, and required the biggest ram of all.

And the people looked out upon the Pea Sea, and they were sore amazed. And sore confused. And sore sore. And that is why, to this day, Ozes, Entities, and Eunuchs battle on the shores of the Pea Sea, but the people still travel on the simple Dosfish.

(C) 1993 Lincoln Spector. All rights reserved.

von StonedBones - am 02.10.2001 13:02

Re: Diesen auch schon ??

Ex-Anonymos schrieb:
>
> StonedBones schrieb:
> >
> > Aber wo wir gerade bei logischen Schlussfolgerungen sind:
> >
> > (ich glaube ich hab den schonmal gepostet, bin mir nicht
> > sicher...)
> >
> > "Noone will ever need more than 640kB RAM" (Bill Gates, 1981)
> > "Windows 95 needs at least 8MB RAM" (Bill Gates, 1996)
> > "Noone will ever need Windows 95 !" (logical conclusion)
>
>
> häääähhh ??? Und wer ist nun dieseR "Noone" der/die kein Win95
> braucht ???

Vertippt... no one = nobody = niemand

von StonedBones - am 02.10.2001 13:03

Re: The DOSFish

Derjenige der alle Witze versteht und auf verlangen einzelne davon erklaeren kann bekommt von mir heute Abend ein Getraenk seiner Wahl :D:D:D

von StonedBones - am 02.10.2001 13:07

Re: Diesen auch schon ??

StonedBones schrieb:

> > > "Noone will ever need more than 640kB RAM" (Bill Gates, 1981)
> > > "Windows 95 needs at least 8MB RAM" (Bill Gates, 1996)
> > > "Noone will ever need Windows 95 !" (logical conclusion)
> >
> >
> > häääähhh ??? Und wer ist nun dieseR "Noone" der/die kein Win95
> > braucht ???
>
> Vertippt... no one = nobody = niemand

Sprich: alle die einen PC haben, oder wie ?? :D

von Dark-Sith - am 02.10.2001 13:34

Re: The DOSFish

StonedBones schrieb:
>
> Derjenige der alle Witze versteht und auf verlangen
> einzelne davon erklaeren kann bekommt von mir heute Abend ein
> Getraenk seiner Wahl :D:D:D

Das muss ich mir mal in Ruhe zuhause durchlesen.

:D Heute wird das bestimmt nicht mehr. :D

von Dark-Sith - am 02.10.2001 13:35
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